Edinburgh is very weird and interesting place. There is something about this place what is not easy to name it but is definitely special. Nowhere else I have ever lived or spent some time I have felt so shifted emotions as here. This is place of my highest and happiest self as darkest and lowest as well.
Lately I had struggle about my staying here. Rationally I know this is my place for now I am starting studies in autumn and it is not time yet to move nowhere, but emotionally there is something refusing to stay. Missing my family after my last visit and hard times of past half a year made me think ´do I still belong here´. Every time I start thinking this way or circumstances make it seems I should leave the city, Edinburgh keeps me here anyway. There easily comes job my way or as this time I tight myself to studies for another 3 years.
Today I was walking through city back home. When you live somewhere and your life happens to be busy, you stop seeing the city way as tourists might see it or the way you saw it when you first move there. Edinburgh happened to be ordinary for me as well. I couldn´t appreciate all that beauty and special magic feeling what I did have first two years living here. Today I saw Edinburgh again in its true colours. Circumstances made me walk home unexpectedly soon. I needed to take it easy and pretty much let my body walk me itself.
I was walking by the castle, path walk I have never walked before. There was a bench so I took a seat. I could see Princess Street behind the trees, double-deckers passing from one site to another. Train ringing the clackson under the hill and some people chatting and passing by. I was in different statement as I got dizzy and felt not very well, that´s why I chose this quiet path on the first place and took a seat and breathed deeply. On that bench watching the world around I have realized how I love this place. All that shifted emotions where I learn so much about myself.
I continued my way home next to national gallery. There was a street singer playing guitar and singing. The guy was so into it. I took a seat and just got lost watching and listening sounds of his voice and guitar. Again I saw true colours of the city and what I love about this place. Btw he was really great musician.
My path continued to Colton Hill. This is another special place where I used to sit and watch so many sunrises after my night shift in a club. I almost forgot about that special feeling this hill gives you, when you walk around and whole Edinburgh is in front of you. Weather here is very special, although I lately complain way too much about it. Sun here makes the most wonderful light shows I have ever seen. My eyes were caught by watching sunlight laying on the houses in distance close to the sea as on the Arthur Seat.
I walked slowly home enjoying busy Leith Walk and trying not to think about feeling a little bit dizzy. Edinburgh is special place and shows me that every time when I start doubting it.