I am a Shadow Artist

Do you feel dried of creative energy as me lately? Luckyly I found interstening book Artist´s way from Julia Cameron and hanks to advices inside of the book my lost creativity appeared again and now I paint and draw over nights and play guitar almost daily.

We live in very strange society where is success marked through look, money, fame, property and other touchable things. Unfortunately there is very few who raise their children and mark success through happiness, feeling of fulfilment and so. I am one of those who were raised in society where good life is marked through first group of achievements. Logically support to be an artist has never happened. Unfortunately many artists will never receive critical early encouragement because people and society around them doesn´t support this kind of interest. It is not because they would be mean it is because they were raised very same way and mean good for us to have a ´good life´ forgetting that good life means to do what makes us happy.

Even if we were told ´try it and see what happens´ without support more to the point young artists very often give up their dreams and settling to the world of could-have-beens and regrets. There  caught between the dream of action and the fear of failure, shadow artists are born.

Very often shadow artists who might even have successful life with amazing careers surround themselves by other artists work or even find partners who they support in their artistic career to fulfil their own creative need and dream. Shadow artists are just blocked artists who didn´t allowed to themselves to be what they feel to be.

Very often shadow artists have luck of enough confidence and don´t even take themselves seriously. Every artist needs nurturing and support. Creativity is play, but for shadow artists, learning to allow themselves to play is hard work. They might show their first pictures to judgmental friends or family who even more discourage them. It is some kind of self-masochism.  For all shadow artists, life may be a disconnected experience, filled with a sense of missed purpose and unfilled promise.

I am shadow artist as well. Once as a child told that I can´t draw I abandoned this skill for many years although art and music are two things I admire the most. I remember as a child I admired street artists drawing portraits or selling their beautiful pictures of buildings or nature. It´s been not long since I have started drawing and painting and I am still learning but I am very happy I have managed came back to this abandoned dream from my childhood. Better later then never and who know maybe I will be able over step my shadow one day.

Cartoons

Since ever I remember I always liked making crafty presents for people I like. Since I have started drawing I made couple of birthday/name day  and Christmas postcards. I realized I really like to draw cartoon figures…

Chrismas theme…

birthday/nameday theme…

 

Eva gets some discipline!

Unfinished painting here, unfinished story there, pale of material to the school, full to do list….OMG I don´t know what to do first. I will watch another part of favourite series. Sometimes I just can´t get discipline myself and end up with new and new ideas but never finishes them. Sounds damiliar?

I realized I need to organise my life a little bit. To not overwhelm myself with big plans I will follow steps of one my friend who basically divides his life to projects which he is completing. I guess I need this idea of projects, although my philosophy is mostly ´go with a flow’. I am very bad in completing things lately so idea of projects what need to be finished is actually very applying for me at the moment.

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Wedding…

I feel quite dried of inspiration this week. So very short one..

Next week I am going to wedding. It is my very good friend who is getting married and she would like to have us all good old friends there as we spent childhood, teenage years and early adulthood together. We even lived on the same street just in front of each other, playing all possible street games. We even played funeral as we lived closed to cemetery :D.

We have started together in nursery got drunk first time together as teenagers got first kiss on the same party as experienced lots and lots of adventures together over the years. There were many parties, many trips to mountains with other friends, trips on bike, playing volleyball, trips abroad. Those are nice but today quite distant memories.

Our paths are different today. We changed over years experienced different events which shaped our personalities and points of view towards life.

Even I am not big fun of weddings I am happy going to this one. She is first one from our group of four getting married so it is going to be some way emotional as well. After years we will be four of us together and I am sure we will share some nice memories over the night.

All because two people fell in love

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Art as a hobby…art as a calling

Now it´s been something about two years since I have started drawing. It came out of nowhere in emotionally difficult times although I have never really draw before. As a kid who always compared her skills with others according to ´perfect´and nothing less is enough I lost my confidance in drawing when I was told I can´t draw or when someone didn´t like my drawings. It is quite common judgement what people say and there is no one to blame, just sometimes this words can make a scarf in childrens soul although this soul might be creative and artistic oriented. I believe things are always happening in right time for its right reasons so I needed to wait over 20 years until I have discovered brushes again.

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