I am a Shadow Artist

There came to my awareness a book Artist´s way – A course in discovering and recovering your creative self from Julia Cameron. There is very nicely explained who is shadow artist as I can relate very much to this definition. Many words in this article are used from the actual book.

We live in very strange society where is success marked through look, money, fame, property and other touchable things. Unfortunately there is very few who raise their children and mark success through happiness, feeling of fulfilment and so. I am one of those who were raised in society where good life is marked through first group of achievements. Logically support to be an artist has never happened. Unfortunately many artists will never receive critical early encouragement because people and society around them doesn´t support this kind of interest. It is not because they would be mean it is because they were raised very same way and mean good for us to have a ´good life´ forgetting that good life means to do what makes us happy.

Even if we were told ´try it and see what happens´ without support more to the point young artists very often give up their dreams and settling to the world of could-have-beens and regrets. There  caught between the dream of action and the fear of failure, shadow artists are born.

Very often shadow artists who might even have successful life with amazing careers surround themselves by other artists work or even find partners who they support in their artistic career to fulfil their own creative need and dream. Shadow artists are just blocked artists who didn´t allowed to themselves to be what they feel to be.

Very often shadow artists have luck of enough confidence and don´t even take themselves seriously. Every artist needs nurturing and support. Creativity is play, but for shadow artists, learning to allow themselves to play is hard work. They might show their first pictures to judgmental friends or family who even more discourage them. It is some kind of self-masochism.  For all shadow artists, life may be a disconnected experience, filled with a sense of missed purpose and unfilled promise.

I am shadow artist as well. Once as a child told that I can´t draw I abandoned this skill for many years although art and music are two things I admire the most. I remember as a child I admired street artists drawing portraits or selling their beautiful pictures of buildings or nature. It´s been not long since I have started drawing and painting and I am still learning but I am very happy I have managed came back to this abandoned dream from my childhood. Better later then never and who know maybe I will be able over step my shadow one day.

Vision Board

There came to me an idea about vision board. Well the real idea of vision board is that you put on the paper goals you would want to achieve in the future or places you would like to visit to keep them in your focus. I made a little bit different vision board where I put five main things I love and make me happy to keep them in mind and focus on them in daily life. I have struggles to keep going in things I really love as my reasonable self doesn´t consider them to be important. I have realised way to be happy is to make choices according to things I love to include them in my ordinary life as much as is possible.

I am coming back to my childhood years at the moment back to things I loved there or as a teenager. Not anymore listening what I ´should´ but what I ´feel/want´ to be doing. Better late than never 🙂

So if you feel inspired take some paper, paints, pencils and markers. Print out some pictures and make your own vision board. What you love in your life the most? What were your dreams as a child? What you loved back then?

Or are there places you would love to visit?

Keeping focus on things we really love makes us happier. World full of happy people is definitely place worth living as only happy person is able to make happy someone else.

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So what woul look like your vision board?

Cartoons

Since ever I remember I always liked making crafty presents for people I like. Since I have started drawing I made couple of birthday/name day  and Christmas postcards. I realized I really like to draw cartoon figures…

Chrismas theme…

birthday/nameday theme…

 

Wallace Cage (from Rosewell to Roslin)

I do like fairy-tale places and Scotland is really full of them. There is one place not far from Edinburgh and very well known for Down Browns movie – Roslin. Today I don´t want to talk about the chapel although one day I will get there too. I would like to talk about the trip from Rosewell across the hill to Roslin and passing by William Wallace cage.

That was quite rainy day when I took a trip from one village to another. My main goal was to find Wallace cage as I tried it once but I wasn´t successful. I have to admit I wasn´t prepared that time and that was very last minute idea once we went to visit Roslin chapel. This time my goal was very clear I went on my own and enjoyed very rainy scottish walk through fields and forest to find William Wallace cage. There is actually not very easy walk there. Without nowadays technology I would never find it, well I didn´t even have a map just navigation in my phone.

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Edinburgh´s true colours

Edinburgh is very weird and interesting place. There is something about this place what is not easy to name it but is definitely special. Nowhere else I have ever lived or spent some time I have felt so shifted emotions as here. This is place of my highest and happiest self as darkest and lowest as well.

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Eva gets some discipline!

I realized I need to organise my life a little bit. To not overwhelm myself with big plans I will follow steps of one my friend who basically divides his life to projects which he is completing. I guess I need this idea of projects, although my philosophy is mostly ´go with a flow’. I am very bad in completing things lately so idea of projects what need to be finished is actually very applying for me at the moment.

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Short homeland visit

So I went to Slovakia. The visit I had a bit of straggle with as circumstances to go weren´t the best once. I wasn´t even sure if I want to go as my mind tried to push in worries, worst scenarios and not the nicest memories and feelings. After all that was one amazing week and great escape from past difficult half an year.

In one week I have managed to see my family, have a tea with my grandma under very old walnut tree in the garden help my parents to water plants on the field as visit Bratislava with my aunts and enjoy summer warm evening at my uncle’s garden. That wasn’t the highlight of the week. Main reason I went back to Slovakia was a wedding of my best friend from my childhood. That was epic and amazing and wonderful and so much fun. I met friends I haven´t seen in years what broth so much memories and nostalgic feelings. We danced, we laughed, we made fun of each other as we have never got apart. Sitting with them on the terrace the day after wedding and just talk and laugh about the night before was just amazing and peaceful. I didn´t care anymore who might think what, what I have done wrong or said I have just enjoyed the moment as it was. Actually I have just enjoyed whole week as it was, no resistance, no bad feelings, no guilt, no pride, nothing.

One day I needed to make a trip behind the borders to Czech republic to Breclav. It is small town and capital of Moravia region in Czech republic. There is an old castle surrounded by park so apart of serious staff I needed to sort out that day I found half an hour to make a quick painting of a little bit forgotten but very nice building.

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Wedding…

I feel quite dried of inspiration this week. So very short one..

Next week I am going to wedding. It is my very good friend who is getting married and she would like to have us all good old friends there as we spent childhood, teenage years and early adulthood together. We even lived on the same street just in front of each other, playing all possible street games. We even played funeral as we lived closed to cemetery :D.

We have started together in nursery got drunk first time together as teenagers got first kiss on the same party as experienced lots and lots of adventures together over the years. There were many parties, many trips to mountains with other friends, trips on bike, playing volleyball, trips abroad. Those are nice but today quite distant memories.

Our paths are different today. We changed over years experienced different events which shaped our personalities and points of view towards life.

Even I am not big fun of weddings I am happy going to this one. She is first one from our group of four getting married so it is going to be some way emotional as well. After years we will be four of us together and I am sure we will share some nice memories over the night.

All because two people fell in love

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Tantallon castle (Scotland)

Part of the trip to North Berwick was visiting Tantallon castle, incredible piece of history. I don´t want to bore you with much of history so the most important information is that Tantallon caste was begun in 1350s by William Douglas. Have you ever seen Outlander? Douglas family was powerful scotish family with connections to royalty and in Tatallon happened to appear people like Mary Queen of Scots.

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Magic of North Berwick

 

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North Berwick. I heard so often how wonderful place it is and I have to go visit there. It´s been couple of years since I moved to Edinburgh and still haven´t got chance see this so called ´wonderful place´. Then they came visit me from distant country. They have seen quite a lot of Edinburgh even Scotland, so maybe it´s time to see something more around the place I live. Let´s go to North Berwick.

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