I am a Shadow Artist

Do you feel dried of creative energy as me lately? Luckyly I found interstening book Artist´s way from Julia Cameron and hanks to advices inside of the book my lost creativity appeared again and now I paint and draw over nights and play guitar almost daily.

We live in very strange society where is success marked through look, money, fame, property and other touchable things. Unfortunately there is very few who raise their children and mark success through happiness, feeling of fulfilment and so. I am one of those who were raised in society where good life is marked through first group of achievements. Logically support to be an artist has never happened. Unfortunately many artists will never receive critical early encouragement because people and society around them doesn´t support this kind of interest. It is not because they would be mean it is because they were raised very same way and mean good for us to have a ´good life´ forgetting that good life means to do what makes us happy.

Even if we were told ´try it and see what happens´ without support more to the point young artists very often give up their dreams and settling to the world of could-have-beens and regrets. There  caught between the dream of action and the fear of failure, shadow artists are born.

Very often shadow artists who might even have successful life with amazing careers surround themselves by other artists work or even find partners who they support in their artistic career to fulfil their own creative need and dream. Shadow artists are just blocked artists who didn´t allowed to themselves to be what they feel to be.

Very often shadow artists have luck of enough confidence and don´t even take themselves seriously. Every artist needs nurturing and support. Creativity is play, but for shadow artists, learning to allow themselves to play is hard work. They might show their first pictures to judgmental friends or family who even more discourage them. It is some kind of self-masochism.  For all shadow artists, life may be a disconnected experience, filled with a sense of missed purpose and unfilled promise.

I am shadow artist as well. Once as a child told that I can´t draw I abandoned this skill for many years although art and music are two things I admire the most. I remember as a child I admired street artists drawing portraits or selling their beautiful pictures of buildings or nature. It´s been not long since I have started drawing and painting and I am still learning but I am very happy I have managed came back to this abandoned dream from my childhood. Better later then never and who know maybe I will be able over step my shadow one day.

Vision Board

I dropped the path leading me to golden prison and decided to be more mayself and doing things I really love. I have started painting, working in hospitality, playing guitar again. But I got lost somewhere on the way because that annoying voice in my head saying ´you can´t make living from this, you´re not good enough´just wouldn´t stop.

I got so lost that I even wouldn´t allow myself doing things I really love. What is it I actually really love?

There came to me an idea about vision board. Well the real idea of vision board is that you put on the paper goals you would want to achieve in the future or places you would like to visit to keep them in your focus.

I made a little bit different vision board where I put five main things I love and make me happy to keep them in mind and focus on them in daily life. I have struggles to keep going in things I really love as my reasonable self doesn´t consider them to be important.

So I said to my annying voice: ´Since now I´ll make choices according to five things what appeared on my board.´

I am coming back to my childhood years back to things I loved there or as a teenager. Not anymore listening what I ´should´ but what I ´feel/want´ to be doing. My vision board appeared on the paper and I luckily realised that actually I am already slowly going towards my dreams doing what I really love. Better late than never 🙂

So if you feel inspired take some paper, paints, pencils and markers. Print out some pictures and make your own vision board. What you love in your life the most? What were your dreams as a child? What you loved back then?

Or are there places you would love to visit?

Keeping focus on things we really love makes us happier. World full of happy people is definitely place worth living as only happy person is able to make happy someone else.

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So what would look like your vision board?

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