´Life is like sinusoid´, said the teacher and draw waved line on the blackboard. In the middle was a straight line.
´When you´re on the top you´ll eventually go down to the bottom…but when you are on the bottom then you´re going to come up again, there is no other option.´ Pointing the chalk on opposite tops ´of the hills´.
That space of stillness and calmness within us. I don´t know about you but I have heard teachers around the world for many years now talking about this space. Helping us to get there. All over again and again talking about that same thing. You can name it Mooji, Tolle, Osho, Ivanka and many others. Always there for their students who are ready to listen. And always it comes back to that space where it all arises which is behind our body behind our self. It just is.
When I first heard about this space it did sound familiar but I wasn´t there. Through life and experiences I have started to be there but only sometimes. I got into a role of observer, observer of myself of the body with name with certain destiny. It all became quieter. It is quieter now.
Great times of this quiet space are when I paint but not only then. It is there when I talk when I wash dishes, when I walk. Art leads me there tough it is only one of many tools which made my mind to be quieter.
Then questioned arise…
What is the point of life if I just am? Mind was talking again so I put myself into work because I found out those are times when mind shuts up. It takes its focus to what is my body actually doing rather than wandering about and feel whatever – sorry for itself, angry, sad, mad, lonely, stressed, pressured etc..
And I paint, draw and laugh and just am. There is nothing else necessary, although I do all that other necessary staff too. I live. But I do it as an observer of this body doing all the staff in every day being happy I can just be 🙂
Do I not identify with my body anymore?
Yes I do, there is still what to learn until I get there permanently. I´m on the way though. I´m on my way.
Now it´s been something about two years since I have started drawing. It came out of nowhere in emotionally difficult times although I have never really draw before. As a kid who always compared her skills with others according to ´perfect´and nothing less is enough I lost my confidance in drawing when I was told I can´t draw or when someone didn´t like my drawings. It is quite common judgement what people say and there is no one to blame, just sometimes this words can make a scarf in childrens soul although this soul might be creative and artistic oriented. I believe things are always happening in right time for its right reasons so I needed to wait over 20 years until I have discovered brushes again.
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