Mushroom picking – there is inspiration in simple things

Not long ago I was trying to capture our herbs picking with my family. The same day we went for mushroom picking, which wasn´t that successful 😀

Yet it was an amazing day outside in the forests very dear to me. I have seen my first deer running through the path at the early morning here, when all I could hear was stamping noise. I learnt here to recognise which mushrooms are good to eat and which ones are better left behind.

As a child I was aware of beauty surrounding me and felt that nature and forests are these magical places where everything is possible and everything is somehow beautiful. That´s not what always nature is though. It has its way to teach us often difficult and challenging bits about life and what does it mean to be a human as well.

After years coming back felt as a pathway to past memories which rushed through my head as we walked. Again I wanted to capture this old memory and this present moment which possibly could be source of inspiration for finding beauty in simple things for someone else.

I don´t know about you, but I just love walking through any kind of the forest, especially when it is nice and easy to walk around and ground is covered in fresh grass. That was exactly how morning would welcome us fresh dew on the grass and smell of the forest in the air.

As we entered the forest we were lucky to find a mushroom and it gave us hope for a successful day, but unfortunately few more we found and that was all for that day.

It hasn´t disappointed me though, because I again found some inspiration inside in between those trees.

Small things came my way as fallen bird nest, colourful bug trying to get his way or deer running in the distance. It was a time when I have started recording small bits of these beautiful moments and thinking about the way how could I capture the feeling and the memory I got here. I guess it was the beginning of my video editing journey as a way to be creative yet make sense of the experience as well.

Everything is always happening for its reason, so the fact we haven´t found any mushrooms that day had its purpose as well.

That was a special day spent with my parents, remembering times we used to go there when I was a child. Admiring hard work of ants who tried to steal every small bit of our sandwiches which fell on the ground and creating new memories together to hold on for later when we will be apart once again.

People sometimes ask and wander why would I live so far away. Maybe there will come a time I will feel a need to move closer but so far the fact not being close taught all of us to value even more greatly than before our relationship which is certainly valuable lesson having.

I hope and believe there will come a time that I will be allowed spend maybe more time with them but not losing the life here in order to do so.

Come with me then for this little poetic forest walk which can maybe inspire you as well to find your own inspiration in small things life have to offer.   

The cycle – misunderstood natural process of being human

‘She must be on her period, ´ said a man in a suit to his colleague laughing at their boss who just burst in anger about some in their eyes unimportant thing.

´Other woman are just fine and functioning why can´t you?´

´I don´t want to hear about it it´s disgusting.´

´You can´t use your cycle as an excuse for being mean´

I am sorry for maybe uncomfortable topic for some but same time can be a little eye opening and if you are a man you can maybe understand a woman a little bit more.

Have you ever heard any of the statements above? Personaly or throug others I did.

Just few days ago I had very strange experience. Pain would be very common companion every month but what I experienced now was way far more extreme than ever before. I guess the connection to my own woman site and body is reaching its culminating point so with understanding can sometimes come pain as well. I almost called the ambulance when I was just about to faint while making breakfast being unable to stand up, covered in hot sweat, pinpointed to the bed crawling like a hurt animal. My whole body vibrated and only open my eyes was too much, too painful, too overwhelming. Whole world around me was spiralling and I wasn´t sure if it ever ends.

All I could do is accept that my body is going through something difficult yet important. Once I have embraced my state which was a little scary the sensation started easing itself.

Woman cycle is a truly strange but in a way a magical thing as well. I am not an exception in better understanding my own woman site as older I get.

There used to be times when I wished to be rather a man and cycle was one of the reasons.

I have been always very sensitive to it skipped classes at school because of it felt embarrassed when I was one of the first one in my class to experience it.

Such a natural thing which somehow we grow up to hide, feel embarrassed about, find hard to talk about, push ourselves to feel and perform as nothing would be happening every month to our body. We have learnt to take pills to control and change natural patterns as we would think it is our right playing gods.

I don´t blame you there is a huge pressure to be fully functioning as if we wouldn´t be humans.

How could a world run predominantly by mind understand that every woman experiences her cycle differently, some are more sensitive to it than others, that it is unhuman effort to try control moods in this time. How could a mind who doesn´t understand emotions embrace that it is not a sign of weakness but quiet opposite. It is easier to deny the huge impact it has on the body, mind, emotions, performance, mood every single month because it is just not convenient being sensitive and human. It takes time, effort and open mind to understand what is really happening. Unfortunatelly that doesn´t earn any money or perform well on annual progress presentations.

Cycle taught me a lot about myself. Every month I can see a pattern appearing. Just before ´the cleaning process´ my moods change sometimes rapidly. There is nothing I can do about it as I believe you out there either. All we can do is embrace the fact that we are emotional, nervous even mean sometimes and giving people around us a little hard time.

I hear you it is not easy to deal with us but trust me it is not easy to be us in the time either.

Often I would feel to be a different person. My moods lower down, for about a week before,I would prefer quiet environment, no people and withdraw. It is not always possible though in such sped up lives we live sometimes in structure where society is build the way where are no breaks or acknowledgments of woman’s monthly cycle.

I am starting to understand better what could of been society before patriarchy when woman was a centre of society connected to very raw source of our humanness – emotions, nature cycles, body, all we are made of and from.

We don´t live in that world anymore because from body and our heart we moved into our heads. We disconnected from our bodies so much, that sometimes we can´t even spot our own emotions, we became unaware how much they drive our behaviour and thought patterns. In this sense woman are very lucky, because cycle is bringing us back, is teaching us to connect with ourselves to be aware of the pattern to listen what our body needs and is telling us.

It is such a creative process as well. According to my cycle I see the patter of creativity emerging. All the senses heighten just before sometimes in such an overwhelming way that bearing noise is difficult, emotions of other people, my own emotions which reach extreme points.

I am not able to be creative in this time.

Everything feels pointless what the body needs here is quiet going inside rather to the outside world, reflect because something is ending and needs to be processed and let go for another new beginning.  Just after everything calms down I feel renewed as the body is renewed once again. My creativity emerges, my mood is cheerer, ideas emerge, I have much more energy.

New cycle has started and the process of born and death in symbolic way is starting once again.

As a little child full of energy I enter first days, so excited about everything every single experience and as I grow ´older´ throughout the process I calm down and go into slower retrospective state as the cycle is reaching its end just before the period comes the same way as one is reaching end of their life. Month passed and death and new beginning will be experienced once again.

Understanding this process helped me to connect natural processes in life. Everything is changing all the time, nothing stays still or forever, what is born needs to die one day, it’s a natural process we forgot in technological by mind run world.

I feel connected to my woman site today as never before. Through all the pain, misunderstanding, blame, judgment of such natural process we experience every month I finally came to understand how powerful and necessary this all is.

All we need is a support, acceptance and respect that we bear this to show you what one part of human nature is truly about 🙂

What is it I am complaining about?

Living in the city can be a bit of a challenge sometimes. Maybe it is not even the city as our (my) lucking ability to switch off. I am certainly a person who is way too sensitive which makes me get easily overwhelmed and guard myself a little more, prone to withdraw. Maybe that is exactly the reason why I tend to seek quiet away from everyone and everything sometimes.

Do you know that feeling?

Everything seems to be too noisy too much too many choices too many people. In a way I do love both noise-quiet light-dark city-village…one reminds me how lucky I am to have the other. Yet I am growing to be old for city life. Maybe I just need a break maybe I am getting ready for a different phase of my life.

More and more I long for long deserted forest walks for exploring quiet forgotten places.

I need to be careful though because one big lesson of my life is being happy with what I have and don´t get lost in dreams about possibilities which are not ´just now´. Little daydreaming though is okay sometimes so I guess today I can give myself permission :D.

I do feel a bit guilty in this very moment while I am writing this as if I would be abandoning Edinburgh a city which gave me so much and taught me to be who I am.

I am slipping lately into memory realms about times I have experienced before, times which feel to be as a different life what I am glad is behind me. Yet all those good or bad experiences I had nice and little less nice people I met brought me exactly where I am today and made me who I am today and I will be forever thankful for that to all of them.

I guess lately I have been longing for ´work´ of my ancestors which is truly strange feeling. I do come from a family which has long history of connection with nature and people. There always has been somehow creative vibe but as well very technical and logical approach. I guess I am trying to find my own place once again as many times before and noise of the city is not always helping. Yet we can only work with what we´ve got and Edinburgh is still far away from very noisy and huge cities. It is very green city too with so many bits of nature which one can explore.

So what exactly is it I am complaining about? 😀

I guess I am not alone wishing to experience a life where I get out of the house and am on the edge of the forest. Life where I can run through the meadows whenever I please and smell all the flowers. But as well life filled with not always easy every day work yet somehow meaningful connected to very source of ourselves, to nature.

Maybe one day.

Slowly I am implementing small bits into the life where I am just now. I get to go to the forest, pick up some berries or mushrooms, bake muffins (such a discovery :D), listen to people, play with kids, enjoy time with friends and some new people coming into my life…

For now, I have a privilege to explore at least nature in and around the city. Maybe in some time I get to go farther to the mountains once again and do my so long planned hiking trips. I guess past months were for many of us quite reflecting ones. I am greatful to be healthy have a roof above my head work for others find some time to be creative. It can be struggle sometimes because of the demands of the outside world finances which seem to always avoid me for a very good reason (that is certainly for another story).

Do you have these moments where you are same time grateful for what you have yet that never happy voice becomes a little louder?

Maybe you understand and maybe not…Either way it´s okay… Today has been a little philosophical….

Is there something you are thankful for right now where you are at? Or the wander how life could be different is lauder these days?

How to start pursuing your passion.

There is plenty of guidance how to pursue your passion, but what I found to be most difficult from my own experience is to figure out what it actually is.

I always knew I love creative staff I did theatre for some time, played guitar, danced always was doing something creative for my family and friends, but for a long time I didn’t really know that´s actually what fulfils me the most.

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Truth of life on the blackboard

´Life is like sinusoid´, said the teacher and draw waved line on the blackboard. In the middle was a straight line.

stiahnuť

´When you´re on the top you´ll eventually go down to the bottom…but when you are on the bottom then you´re going to come up again, there is no other option.´ Pointing the chalk on opposite tops ´of the hills´.

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